Decisions. Life is full of them. Socks vs. flip-flops. Red shirt or blue shirt. Sam vs. Harry. Boston University or Elon University. Spain or London. Big or little, decisions occupy the majority of our daily thought process. The little ones cause are minimally distracting -- Cookie dough ice cream or Lime sorbet? But the big ones often result in equally large headaches, stomach aches and in some cases, anxiety attacks.
As the summer rolls on, my friends who are recent Elon graduates find themselves making those gut-busting decisions. And I find myself on the receiving end of apprehensive phone calls and text messages. I love listening. I love being the ear and the shoulder. And I love sharing the excitement when a decision is made and a victory won. For the most part, I'm talking about the job search.
Of my three best friends who've graduated, two are now employed and the last just received her first job offer -- one she's not sure she can take, but an offer nonetheless.
And as I listen to her agonize over low pay without benefits and dish out advice, I wonder just how well I'll be able to take my own advice next year when it's my turn to hit the pavement running and begin the next chapter.
My friend McKenzie and I always refer to ourselves as "ducks in a row" kind of people. We like to know where we're going, how we're getting there and what's going to happen when we arrive. More and more I'm realizing that life doesn't work that way. There's always someone waiting with a monkey wrench to toss into your gears. Cynical? Yes. Realistic? In my experience, very.
Over the last few years I've slowly and sometimes painfully begun to understand that the only thing I should plan on is the unexpected. Come September I will have nine months to start my march toward that stage Under the Oaks and then across to the parking lot, my car and the rest of my life. Every instinct in me is telling me to start planning, make lists and phone calls. And to some extent I know I have to just resist all of them for a little while longer and just let myself enjoy the last summer of freedom.
3 comments:
i find myself thinking the same things. but, although you might like to have all your ducks in a row, a lot can happen in 9 months. planning right now might not do any good come may!
You are so right. I know that even though I want to plan plan plan, I can't because who knows what will happen. It's such a sticky situation!
Hope all is well with you!
I've almost given up on planning and resorted to praying and making lots of wishes on shooting stars and dandelions.
Yay for another blog!
Post a Comment